I’ve been thinking about timing in life a lot lately. Typically, when someone is going through something, we say “when the timing is right…” or “when it’s meant to happen it’ll happen”. And I’ve just been wondering if all of that is true…is “perfect timing” really a thing?
Or is it kind of just a coincidence? Or does everything happen at its own perfect timing…even if you don’t think it’s the perfect timing?
I’ve always been pretty selfish when it came to timing – when I wanted something – I wanted it. And if it didn’t happen, then I’d be pissed off. It would stress me out when I felt like time was being “wasted”. Why wasn’t I getting that promotion or raise? Why was my relationship not progressing how it “should” have been? Why didn’t I have more money? But hey, time isn’t guaranteed and you can’t get it back. On the other hand, I realize just how much stress I was adding to my life. We literally have ZERO control over most of the things we stress about. Over the last two years, I realized that trying to manipulate situations to make them work out in my favor often made them worse. I often settled for whatever came my way…without giving any thought on if it was actually the best thing for me.
I also feel the need to say that I’m not optimistic by nature. I actually ALWAYS think the worst will happen. It’s something I’m working on, and really have to talk myself through. BUT I will say, probably since late 2019, I started thinking everything TRULY happens at the right time (even if it’s hard to see) in a lot of aspects. I’ve learned to kind of just roll with the punches, live in the moment, do what I feel is best at that exact time, and see what happens! And this applies to many different areas of my life.
Back in 2019, I was working for a company that was making me miserable. I wasn’t learning anything, I was becoming a bitter person, and just complaining ALL OF THE TIME. BUT, I met a few incredible people that are still part of my life today. I wouldn’t have made it through that year and a half without them, and I’m so happy that job brought them into my life. I also believe that I wouldn’t have landed my dream job at Lou & Grey because having that company on my resume was definitely a plus. And we all know the hardest part of getting a job is just getting your foot in the door. When I look back on everything from seeing the job listing, to the interview process, to the time it took to get hired…it all happened exactly how it was supposed to. I often think about how I started my job at Lou & Grey one month before COVID lockdown in New York, and I cannot believe I wasn’t furloughed. I know people who were hired maybe a few weeks after me and they were ultimately furloughed/eventually let go. That alone reconfirmed that timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
I also realized what I DIDN’T want in a job/work environment/etc., and taking a job that I ended up not loving only reconfirmed that being a true merchandiser is my DREAM JOB. I’ve known that being a merchandiser was my dream since I started my first job at Perry Ellis in 2014, BUT ever since starting at Lou & Grey, it’s been a whole new level of “omg this is actually my dream job”.
I know jobs are important, and often go hand in hand with happiness. I think that’s why it’s so hard to put your trust in timing when you feel stuck or unhappy in a job. It’s obviously smart to be proactive when you’re unhappy with what you’re doing for a living, BUT I firmly believe that it will all work out.
I’ve been a relationship person my whole life. Connecting with someone on a romantic and intimate level has just been something I’ve always enjoyed. I like doing and experiencing life with someone. Sure, to some it’s like I jump from relationship to relationship, but to me, I realized every guy I’ve dated has been in my life for another reason or another. I’ve obviously come to realize that not every person you meet is meant to be in your life forever, but there’s still always a reason (whether it’s good, bad, or indifferent). So sure, it’s sad when this person is no longer in your life, but that’s because life is making room for your next chapter. When I think of my past relationships, I can really say that at one point or another, there were actually good reasons why those people were in my life.
When I think about my current relationship, that’s probably the closest thing to “perfect” timing. I had broken up with someone who 100% was not the right person for me. I think during COVID (we actually lived together throughout most of 2020), I finally realized what I wanted and didn’t want in a partner….and what I deserve. I was cool with being single, didn’t really have an interest in being in a relationship, and was ready to date casually. I even got a few messages on Instagram saying I looked happier and were wondering if it was because of a break up (that’s how you KNOW it was the right decision). And then quite literally, this human just showed up in my life. Although everything happened very quickly, I just knew from our first date that the universe must have known he was what I needed. And that’s really the only way to describe it (*insert heart eye emojis*).
While talking to my friends (whether they’re single or not), I always stress the importance of “everything happens for a reason”. Whether it hurts to hear that or not, I really believe in it. At the end of the day, you need to trust in the timing of your life…trust you are where you’re meant to be in that exact moment. Relationships should NOT define you. I know it’s often a
living on my own
I’ve always loved New York City…obviously. I’ve lived in Staten Island my entire life and commuted into the city since 2014 when I started my job. I’ve had boyfriends who lived in the city, so I would spend a lot of time being in the city, but not actually living there. My best friend decided she was going to move out of her parents’ house and get her own apartment. I was like…”hey, maybe this is a sign that I should do that.” Rent prices were “cheap” as hell in the city due to COVID, I was feeling really good about myself and where I was at in life, and I’ve ALWAYS wanted to really live in the city.
I was hesitant for a while because 1. I knew my parents didn’t want me to leave, 2. I had it SO good at home, and 3. I didn’t know if I could actually live on my own. After 2 months of living on my own, I can say that it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Sure, I have to pay bills and rent for the first time in my life, but there’s something really cool about living by yourself.
Looking back on it now, I really think finding my apartment was perfectly timed. I had been searching for a little over a month, when I started becoming frustrated and annoyed — prices were going back up, the spaces I were seeing were fine but nothing was “perfect”, I was torn on what area I wanted to live in — I was about ready to give up. I lost one apartment that I REALLY wanted. I came across a listing on StreetEasy, and emailed the broker to see if she had a video of the unit. I was instantly like, “I could see myself living here.” I showed my family, my best friend, and my boyfriend the video and they all really liked it. I decided to put in an application without even seeing the place in person.
When I went to finally go see the place, I wanted it. It felt like I could live there, and I knew the Upper East Side was the perfect neighborhood for me to live on my own.
Timing. It’s a weird concept. Does “perfect” timing exist? I think so. It may not be perfect in the way you think of perfect, but I would say it’s definitely something where the saying “whatever happens, happens” comes into play more often than not.
What are your thoughts on the idea of perfect timing? Do you agree?