How To Deal With Friend Envy

Whether it’s your bestie, someone who you consider a blog friend, or someone you admire from afar, we’ve all experienced friend envy at one point or another.

How To Deal With Friend Envy by popular New York blogger The Champagne Edit How To Deal With Friend Envy by popular New York blogger The Champagne Edit How To Deal With Friend Envy by popular New York blogger The Champagne Edit How To Deal With Friend Envy by popular New York blogger The Champagne Edit

My friends are the sh*t.

No, really, they are.

They’re killing it in so many different industries: nursing, entertainment, education, fashion, marketing, photography, and whatever the heck Elle does. And there’s nothing I want more than for them to succeed. It makes me so freakin’ happy when something big happens for them.

Alexis just bought a house with her boyfriend. Elle started a new job that makes her much happier than her old one. Allie is thriving in her photography business. Linda kills it at Victoria’s Secret. Nina travels to London for work. Erica gets to work hands on with luxury products. Sam gets to plan insane parties. The other Sam loves her students. Nicole is one of New York’s Finest. I mean, I have A LOT to be proud of.

But what happens when those feelings of friend envy hit you suddenly?

You know what? I’m not totally sure. But we’ve all been there. And honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with feeling a little friend envy when your friend has something amazingly good happen to them. The problem arises when you let those feelings of envy get in the way of your friendship. That’s a huge no for me, and part of the reason why I think one of my friendships ended. When your friend envy turns into resent, that’s when you need to pump the brakes. The more that I think about this, any time you’re feeling a little envious of your friends, you should take a step back for a minute.

Figure out why you’re envious.

Is it because of something they achieved? Is it because they have something you want? Or is it just you overreacting to something? Whatever it is, figure out WHY you’re feeling envious. Most of the time, I can laugh it off with whoever I’m feeling envious over…because at the end of the day, I’m still HAPPY for my friend.

Go and do better.

Think about all of the things you’re grateful for (whether they’re big or small). Or think about all of the opportunities that come your way. Those envious feelings went away real quick now, didn’t they? Everyone should feel so lucky that they have something to be thankful for, so you should never feel super envious of someone and what they have. Who knows, they might be envious of YOU too.

Friendship > Everything

I mean, this should go without saying. When you finally come back down to Earth after those feelings of envy, you should really pinch yourself. Friendship is EVERYTHING. And good friendships are hard to come by. Why would you ever want to put something so special in jeopardy? Not worth it, huh?

At the end of the day, we’re all humans and we’re ALL going to feel envious at times. Which is fine. But never let it stop you from doing your own thing or let it get in the way of friends. BE HAPPY FOR THEM. CELEBRATE THEM. And you know they’ll celebrate you in return.

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  1. 3.28.18
    Elle said:

    I’m taking you to Bring Your Kid To Workday so you know what I do and can see it. Anyways, I loved this post and I’m SOOO proud of you. I love telling my friends everything you’ve accomplished and proving them wrong and telling them that blogging really is HARD work. You are the CEO to your own brand and some people just don’t realize what that entails. Keep killing it girlfriend! xo elle

  2. 3.28.18

    Girl — this post really resonated with me! I’ve lost a blog friend because of this in the past (let’s face it: it’s hard to 100% feel confident with blogging at all times!), and at the end of the day it’s so silly to lose someone because of envy. You’re killing it both in your career and the blogosphere, and you should be so proud of yourself!!

    xo, Alicia |

  3. 3.28.18
    Katie Lee said:

    Ahhh I love this post! And it’s so true! I feel like so many people get in this envy trap where they truly can’t be happy for the person and it’s so frustrating! At times in my life I’ve wanted to keep successes from friends because I did’t want to see their reaction and that’s so sad!! But also a good reminder to check yourself when you start feeling those feeling creep up!

    xo! Katie

  4. 3.28.18

    Every word you wrote is so extremely true Dana! I love the idea of stepping back and taking a minute. I believe that would help so many people (myself included) to stay in check. I love how proud you are of all of your friends and what a strong group you have. Keep killing it lady! So proud of you and all that you’ve done and are doing!

    xo Laura Leigh

  5. 3.28.18
    Jenn Lake said:

    Couldn’t ageee more with the sentiments and comments listed below. Thank you for opening up and being so transparent about a feeling we all deal with at some point or another. I love what Elle said below – you are the CEO of your own brand, and I’m so proud of you and all you do!

  6. 3.28.18
    Allie said:

    Thanks for the great reminder! It’s so important to keep these feelings in check, especially in our social media world. xAllie